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She was resistant at first, even seemed shocked and seemed to totally rule out such devices, but at my persistence she gradually gave way, insisting though that if we used a dildo that it be WHITE and not BLACK. I said ok and I went out and bought one. It was a rather large rubbery thing, milky white, long and kind of floppy and with a large testicles portion. We used it that night, she allowing me to lubricate her and then gradually insert it while talking about films and other things. The 'other things' usually involved my fantasies of taking her to a motel or a sex club and watching her by made love to by various well-hung black men. These things too, did not seem to bother her at all, and in fact appeared to turn her on - although, as usual, she said or pretended that the interracial side meant nothing to her.This first dildo I used with her, was about 10 inches long and maybe 4-5 inches in girth. I inserted it very carefully and modestly at first, taking the time for her to get. I dunno, petty bullshit with people I went to school with. It makes me glad I moved away....”“That sucks,” Luke said, “but it happens to the best of us. Don’t let it get to you.”I nodded. “I won’t,” was my simple answer, though I knew it probably wasn’t true.I spent that night in Chad’s bed. In the state I was in, there was no other place I wanted to be. After all, in that house, the only voyeurs to worry about were the other Kap Eps—with whom we didn’t have many boundaries to begin with.I was way more affectionate than usual. I was pretty worn out, and my day had only made me want to be with Chad that much more. At first I just asked him to hold me. Somehow, when our bodies were up against each other, I felt as if nothing else mattered. It was as if the rest of the world could go fuck itself, yet we’d still be fine as long as we were together.“Are you sure you’re okay?” he eventually asked.“Yeah,” I said, “at least I am now.”“Do you want to talk about it?”“Not really.” I.
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